The Ax and Oo La La

Saturday's are usually the busiest days at the restaurant.  I try to do something during the day before my shift, squeeze in some sort of personal life.  Yesterday morning, I decided to sleep in, after three nights of restless sleep and a series of nightmares involving the tall blonde from "True Blood", I needed it.  I left myself just enough time to shower, walk to get my coffee, take some extra time to curl my hair and put on makeup.  Usually I'm slapping on the under eye cover in the rear view mirror at a red light, but when I do make an effort I can apply my makeup like a pro.  Probably from my part time job at the Clinique counter during high school so I could have some "going out" money.  Question is, where was I going at 16?

I slinked on my navy wrap dress, red high heels and my brown scarf.  My stomach bothered me as I ran down the stairs of my apartment building.  I flung open the front door and it was a blaring sunny California day.  I whipped out my new Diane Von Furstenberg aviator shades, a gift from a friend and put them on.  I stood up straighter and sprinted across the street to my lil toyota.  The backseat was covered with clothes, shoes,  a modeling portfolio and empty coffee cups littered the floor.  When it starts to look like this it means I am stressed and I need to regroup quickly on my next day off.

I sped the two blocks to work and parked in the alley behind the restaurant.  Something didn't feel right.  The bar has gone through major changes and business has essentially fallen off of a cliff.  It happened so quickly that most of the staff has stood around scratching their heads as to what the hell happened.  A year ago we were the hot spot, sexy and new.  Reality set in and it was painful to watch.

With yet another GM in place, changes were inevitable.  All the 14 hour days that I put in over the last six months suddenly had no meaning. I was the only one keeping tally on my scorecard. Everything I was taught about paying your dues and working hard with a smile on your face no longer applied in this game.

I walked through the back door and the air was thick and heavy.  I tried to shake it off and waved to the kitchen guys, they are my homies and we always share a good laugh.  My new boss exchanged a few pleasantries but could hardly look me in the eye.  It was about to go down.  My body started to get shaky and my regular breathing became gulps for air.  Suddenly our meeting at 3 no longer seemed like a meeting.  I held out hope and grabbed my notebook and the staff schedule, afterall we were supposed to discuss everyone's availability.  I'm sure at this point you know what's looming.  I did too and everything started to happen in slow motion.

"We have to have a conversation" he said and turned to walk in the main dining room.  Now THAT is never good.  I clung to my notebook and followed him to booth 4, the Hollywood booth.  The big honcho was already sitting down.  He's 6'5 and easily 300 lbs, he looks like an ex-football player.  I sat down and he called me "dear".  I guess he was softening the blow.  We made small talk and I really couldn't hear a word he said, I felt like I was under water with my eyes open.  He turned to my new boss and that's when the final blow was administered.  They were letting me go.  The restaurant could not afford to have two managers.  The last year flashed before my eyes.  All of the late nights, the fights that I broke up,  the rock stars, the movie stars, my regulars, and all of the friends that I hired.  My lip started to quiver and I delicately lifted my scarf to cover my mouth all the while chanting in my head "do not cry" as big crocodile tears formed in my eyes.  The large man pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me, it had a monogrammed D on it.  I lifted it to my eyes to stop the liquid from falling on my cheek.  I looked across the table to the new boss on the block and he looked down, I think I was his first.  He had never fired anyone before and in that moment I felt bad for him, can you imagine?

When I was able to compose myself I looked at them both in the eye and told them that I understood their business decision yet on a personal level it was very hard to wrap my head around.  I wanted them to explain how I could go the extra mile, work my butt off, pick up the slack and fill in where needed and then have something like this happen?  I wanted them to rationalize it for me.  They were stumped.  They couldn't answer me and it all boils down to a big fat "that's life."  When my staff showed up I told them and they hugged me and people were walking around in shock.  As the word got out, my phone started to blow up.  My friends had the safety net ready and everyone wanted to help me get a job.  My regular's came in and I told them the news.  They gave me their home phone number and told me they would help me with whatever I needed.  I couldn't believe this outpouring of love and suddenly my shock turned to relief.  I felt free.

I woke up this morning with the tears again and decided to watch a movie.  I watched Tom Ford's "A Single Man", his heart is splattered all over that movie and it was just what I needed.  Pure inspiration.  I remembered the time that I met Tom,  I had an instant crush, he was working for Gucci and my friend was producing their fashion show.  I passed out gift bags at the end.

After my movie extravaganza, I dragged myself, puffy eyes and all and ventured to Starbucks.  I ordered my small coffee, set up my computer and blasted Jessie J through my headphones.  I perused Craigslist for jobs in vain and submitted one resume in between writing this post.  My phone rang within minutes and a deep French voice was on the other end.  They got my resume and were interested in meeting me.  "That was quick' I said.  I don't think the man could understand me.  He just wants me to come by tomorrow at 3.  I may have to brush up on my French.

Ooo la la.  C'et la vie.