The DJ

Where I come from the DJ can make all the difference.  I walked into a bar tonight and the DJ was a guy that used to spin at a club I used to sneak into when I was underage.  He came barreling up to me and gave me a big hug.  I frequent these hometown places like every 5 years but whenever I do I am always on the dance floor.  When I'm home I'm known as the actress from LA and people are impressed and they ask for my autograph and I end up apologizing most of the time because they've probably never seen me in anything but it doesn't matter cuz I'm in LA, I got out.

I went shopping with my mother at the mall and it was the most horrific experience.  She wanted to go to a mall with over 200 stores and only wanted to go to one store to buy shoes, oh and the whole time she kept saying she didn't have any money but everytime she found something she liked, money miraculously appeared.  Anything that is deviated from the plan is a complete meltdown and six shopping bags later she walks out like we are one big happy family and no insults have been traded.  It's exhausting.  When we pull up in her driveway she says to keep the bags in her trunk because she doesn't want her husband to see.  "By the way you're a double D" she says to me. "What are you talking about/" I reply.  "You're bras are too small, you've gotten bigger."  Only a mother would say that right.  "You're waist is still small, so you're ok?"  Thanks Ma, for the seal of approval, I guess.

Everything back here is about gaining weight, losing weight, who wears what, etc. etc.  "Well thank God you're wearin what you're wearin, cuz everyone's wearin a shift dress with a shrug." "Really Ma, you all discussed this?"   " I hope so and so doesn't get drunk at the party and ruin it, you know I think she's on xanax."  And this is the extent of my mental stimulation while I am home relaxing. Never a dull moment.

And of course, I take dramatic license and exaggerate the truth while I'm writing :)

Some guy wanted to meet me tonight.  I think he was in the mob.  I come from a mafia town.  When the head of the crime family died, Frank Sinatra came to the funeral.  That's what everyone says.  This kid I went to school with turned State's evidence and ratted out a bunch of people and now he is in the witness protection program.  My cousin says he may come back to town and I probably shouldn't be writing about this but no names are mentioned and the drama is riveting.

Back to the DJ, it was amazing, he played Nia Peeples, Judy Torres, Johnny B, Sapphire, Marc Anthony (before the JLo days, when he was just a club singer), we couldn't get enough.  Me and my girls from High School stayed on the dance floor for 2 hours straight.  The DJ went off, I could tell he was happy, he was inspired.  We told him to play all the old school joints, the classics.  It took me back and I remembered who I was and where I came from.

Tomorrow the fun begins, all the cousins fly in and its party time.  I can't wait.  I have my dress and hat for the tea party.  I will convene with all the girls in the family, there are a lot of us, we outnumber the boys.  Then I will take them out dancing and my friend will play Madonna and I won't leave the dance floor.