Do Unto Others...you know the rest....

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's All About The Envelope

I had the most hellish plane ride travelling east.  First of all I have never in my life taken a 6am flight and when I finally took my seat on the plane I just about collapsed.  I slept for the first three hours which was amazing and then I awoke to the most gnarly turbulence.  It was like being on an amusement park ride gone bad.  It did not stop for almost 2 hours and we had to keep our seat belts on the whole time.  Twenty minutes before we landed I started to feel really sick, it was so hot, I was crammed by the window and the only comfort I had was resting my cheek on the tray in front of me.  I was staring out the window and wiping the sweat from my face and then I had to reach for the throw up bag.  It was so embarassing, I tried to hide my misery by dry heaving ever so elegantly.  I managed to calm myself down and waited for everyone to exit the plane.  When I stood up my legs were like jelly.  Thank God I only traveled with one carry-on because I could barely lift my purse.  I made it to one of the magazine shops and quickly grabbed a coke from the fridge.  I don't even remember paying for it as I found the nearest bench and drank the bottle of bubbles in almost one gulp.  I curled my knees close to me and rested my head, after about 5 minutes I felt better.  I was in Washington D.C. and had to find my connecting flight within a half an hour.

One small plane ride later, much better the second time and I was in Massachusetts.  My mother scooped me from the airport.  It was humid, windy and grey.  We went to grab a bite to eat and I was happy to be back.  I couldn't wait to go see my cousin, she just had a baby, so after my lamb chops with mint jelly (yum) we took the highway to her house.

She is 30, beautiful, hard working and the most amazing mother to 2 gorgeous little girls.  We caught up on so many things and then we talked about weddings and showers and christenings.  She had a cork board filled with invitations to various shindigs.  She talked about how annoying it was for her to go to all of these parties and how at the end of the day it was all about the envelope.  "All anyone cares about is how much you put in the envelope." she said.  Well it was her man's side of the family that thought this way.  Now I normally wouldn't air anybody's dirty laundry but she urged me to write about it.  She said it was comical and everyone sort of joked about it but to a select few it was serious business.  For example, if it was a wedding, you had to give $500 and if you didn't, it was always "oh so and so only gave $450", and you were forever known as "$450", branded like it was a scarlet letter.  People actually kept tallies, writing it down and asking you how much you had in your envelope.  "I'm so sick of these envelopes, I have to get a second job just to keep up with the envelopes," my cousin said.  We laughed.  It was so odd yet real.  People lived by this.  It was this crazy subculture that she was subjected to.  In the end, she told them all off,  said they should mind their manners and not ask about the damn envelopes.

I got up to leave and gave her a big hug.  I told her I was proud of her.  We will meet again on Saturday for a Bridal Shower tea party, I will bring my homemade hand drawn card and I'm sure no one will ask me about it.

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