The Sweetest Thing

My phone rang at 3:00, I picked it up, it was my lil brother.  He called me after his audition for a snow boarding print job.  He was so excited, "the casting director asked me if I could do a half pipe?"  I giggled, "what did you tell her"?  "I told her I could do it all."  I took a deep breath, he could do it all, he was so cool and he had it.  I told him to fasten his seatbelt because he is going to work all the time.  I can feel it, everyone can see it and it's his destiny.

We were meeting up to hang and look at new modeling shots.  "Meet me at the Honey Baked Ham", I said.  "Where?", he yelled over the blasting music in his car.  "I live behind the Honey Baked Ham store, I'll meet you in the parking lot.". I brushed my hair, threw on my Coldplay concert tee, my aviator shades and ran out the door.  It was a gorgeous, hot California day.  I was happy.

I thought about when I first moved to Hollywood and I don't know how I made it through the jungle virtually unscathed. Well I guess the big ol fat broken heart isn't unscathed but I'm almost out of that neck of the woods, so it's no longer starting to count.  I still have my hope and that is good.  I have seen so many people sell out, date the "right" person for a job, kiss ass and live off their parents money.  At the end of the day they were all so miserable and not one of those people that went that route "made it."  Most of them now drink too much, pine for a lover and look like they have a perpetual bitter taste in their mouth.  

I have waded through the water, like Katherine Hepburn in the "African Queen" and I will protect my brother, give him my help and support and no he will not shoot with Madonna's photographer.(he met someone at a party that wants to hook him up).  We will save that for later when he can call the shots. 

We sat and watched a little league game, stumbled upon it while we strolled through the park.  He showed me his portfolio, he's a looker.  We talked about life and our family.  I shared some of my heartache with him over the past few years, only a little bit though. I made jokes to soften the blow of my woes and in the end when there was a pause he put his arm around me and said, "well you have me now, you have your brother."  I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.  Sincerely.   Don't we all want someone to be there for us without asking them.  It is really special when it is offered up freely and coming straight from the heart.  

So all of my prayers were not in vain.  I feel like I am starting from scratch and that is refreshing.  Diesel, Lexus, Fedex, all casting calls for this week.  I breathe and take in the joy.  I have gotten into the habit of cleaning my place in the morning before I tackle my day.  It's very grown up of me and grown up things are starting to happen.  I guess I still feel like the girl that moved here a decade ago.  My friend said to me the other day.  "you look like a voluptuous 19 year old."  That'll keep me going for a month.  Talk about an ego boost.  I'll take that all the way to the bank.  A voluptuous 19 year old armed  with her check list.