Marching to the beat of an impeccable drum.

The California sunshine is sometimes hard to take in.  The haze makes the skyline look like it has rust on it.  Lovely smog.   I usually wear my sunglasses, cheap ones from the boardwalk in Venice.  Only as of late have I decided to grace my face with some designer specs.  Feels good.  Nice things feel good.  Not sure why the finer fare seemed so imaginary to me,  just outside my grasp.  Sure there was a gifting suite here and there and a hand me down or two from a friend that worked with fancy labels, but I never would pay full price.  It something that I just don't do.  I have paid full price for many things though.  A good chunk of my twenties with a guy that played guitar and didn't work, but haven't we all had one of those.  Thank goodness, that never panned out, facebook tells certain truths and a picture is worth a 1000 words, he had his day.  Oh, that was mean. I'm ok with it.  So there.  Purge.

This is figuring it out time for me.  So I'm sure I'll rake a person or two over the coals for a path that I shouldn't have gone down.  The operative word being I.  It's just so much easier to blame someone else.  It's like when I lay in bed at night and watch my favorite soap opera to fall asleep, I've gotten used to it like a lullaby.  Can't run around in that circle anymore, it's not getting me where I want to go.  If any sort of circle is going to be that consistent in my life its going to be the diamond one that hangs from a necklace, they sell it Tiffany's and I always stop at the display case to look at it.  Someday.

Marching to the beat of a different drum is much harder than it sounds.  I have to start by picking up the pieces one by one which really means the clothes and shoes that find themselves on my floor after a long day at work.  I want to put things back where I find them and I want my drawers to be organized.  My grandmother used to wrap her delicates neatly in tissue paper.  Her top drawer was impeccable.  I want to be impeccable.  It's a new shade for me.  One that I've never worn.  

I have goals now.  I had to tell a friend my goals for two weeks, he tricked me, made me say them out loud.  Now I have to keep my word, can't make up any excuses because then I would be running a shoddy business.  The business of me.  If I keep them, he will photograph me.  He's the best at what he does and if all goes well he will make me look like a woman that keeps her word.  That's impeccable.