The Bloom is Back

Today I stepped in the direction of my goals.  They are my everyday companions now, and I can't shake them from my psyche.  My yellow lined paper that has them written down comes with me everywhere.  I wrote 10 new ones. Oh my Lordy.  Who am I?  I am cheerleading on my own sideline now and not pushing the pom poms for someone else.  And guess what?  It's working.  I cleaned my car, check.  Did my homework for acting class, check and actually made the journey to the Valley to meet my new classmates, check.  They are a great bunch of colorful people with lots going on.  They are on top of their game and they have goals too.  So in essence, we are partners in crime, we commit the act together.  The act of succeeding.

This is all coming from a girl that devoured all of the Nancy Drew and Little House on the Prairie books.  I adored Laura Ingalls.  She kept me company in those early years.  Back then I used to knit with my grandmother.  I made hats, scarves, baby blankets and sweaters.  Knit one, pearl two.  I accomplished things.  I started and I finished. I think I stopped this when boys came in the picture.  Now I can understand why my Grandmother would call me boy crazy with such disdain on her face.  She knew I was wilting instead of blooming.  Well the bloom is back and the bloom has a woman with freckles on her side.  That woman is me.

It's such a bum deal when you feel under appreciated.  Armed with your morals and your values, you tackle the world only to feel like you fell flat on your face.  It's like doing the stairmaster.  You sweat and step and stay in the same place without moving forward.  I often wondered why I would sign up for those damn classes, those steps always made my thighs look big.  But all was not in vain, it built my stamina, which is just what I needed when it was time to move forward.  So staying in one place and sweating it out is good from time to time.

The girl that wandered through the wilderness of Boston, Europe, New York City and ultimately Los Angeles has found her day in the sun.  I turn my petals toward that light and it comes in many forms.  I have found a wonderful teacher.  She is special.  It is the age old saying "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear", that's me ready for the pickin.  I have found friends, the kind like they write about in the classic novels.  They come armed with great stories of their own.  Heartache and joy that match mine.  We walk together, write letters, and I sit right in front of their song.  The melodies of their lives speak to me. Inspiration that keeps me reaching for a future they can see when I can't.

Tomorrow I will put my body into a pretzel in yoga class.  That's a far cry from the salted pretzels with mustard that I would eat at the county fair.  The twists and bends will clear the path that my mind needs to be on.  Afterward I will play, that's a goal too, to play more.  I will eat lunch, hug my little brother, tell him I love him, water my plant and put another check mark on my list.