The First Barbecue

I remember the days when I used to roller skate.  It was at a roller rink right on the Massachusetts/Connecticut line, kind of the bad part of town.  They played great music and I think acid wash jeans were in style and me and my girls wore them really tight.  Those were the days.   Now I have to do 100 leg lifts on each leg every day just to feel sassy in my skinny jeans.  Time goes on. The beat goes on and you learn to roll with the punches.  Everything seemed so easy back then.  Carefree.  Dinner was on the table every night at a certain time and the seasons were expected.  Summer, Spring, Winter and Fall.  I always bought new clothes every three months.  It was very exciting and everyone talked about the weather.  When it was changing and how it changed.  Living in California there aren't any seasons and I wear my suede boots in June and my mother rolls her eyes.  Whenever I go home to visit she says "no boots, they're scuffed."  Well I like my boots, scuffs and all.  They tell a story.  I have walked miles.

My hair smells like chlorine and I ate at my first barbecue of the summer.  Chicken breast, hamburgers, hot dogs and ribs.  Yum.  I went with a friend to a friends house.  It was festive and the night was warm.  Lots of smiles.  I was happy.  I laughed and it was real.  I love when I feel like I have no where to be except where I am.  Those times are rare but I hope to keep them coming to me more and more.  I have just hit the tip of the ice berg when it comes to enjoying the present.  This is a new experience for me.  I am usually caught up in what happened to me or what could of been or if he could only be a certain way.  At the end of the day none of that really matters and I think I have finally thrown in the towel.  Offered up defeat to how I think things should be.  It's not up to me.  I only have to listen.  Listen to what happens first thing in the morning and when I lay my head down on my pillow late at night.  I always go to bed late.  I'm a thinker and by the time I am done battling my thoughts I am exhausted.

I cleaned my car today.  It was cathartic.  The Armenian guys tried to hustle me into getting an eighty dollar detail.  I told him I didn't have that kind of money and to please give me the days special.  The manager started arguing with his employees in a foreign tongue.  I just continued to rid my car of the empty coffee cups that accumulate on my travels.  In the end, the special did my car just fine.  It was shiny and I rolled down my window and blasted my Foster The People CD, a gift from my friend Grady.  Number two is my favorite track, I play it over and over.  Shiny car and new music on a summer day is all a girl could ask for...well that and maybe some corn on the cob.