Grace

To do things with grace either comes naturally or with a lot of practice.  I've been told I'm a natural and thank God for it.  Grace is smiling and loving when you wander into uncharted territory knocking on doors that don't open.  It's knowing when to make your exit and knowing when to not look back.  Please and thank you are a given and kind words soothe the soul.  I've maintained grace when the floors were dirty and my music wasn't appreciated.  I rely on God's grace when I talk to him at night and I can't sleep.  He tells me to go when I don't want to and I listen.  In the end I am happy.  It took some meandering but it was worth it.  I let go and see where the next chapter takes me.

I read for a new TV show last week.  I did a decent job in the room, it had been a while so I was a little rusty.  In the end it's all about your confidence, can you pull off holding your own on a network television show.  My coach says I'll get my mojo back once I start playing the game more.  The casting director used to drink at the bar where I worked at years ago so we shared a laugh and were able to catch up.  Everyone I knew back in the day is coming up, it's so cool to see the fruits of people's labor.  The same thing happened when I auditioned on Friday for a big national commercial, the CD was one of my regular customers as well and we talked about all the characters that used to hang out at the Formosa.  We laughed.  It was nice, then I did my thing and it felt right.  It was fun.  I think this is how it's supposed to be.

The shift in perspective has been extraordinary.  It doesn't have to be so grim all the time.  I had lunch on a balcony overlooking the beach in Malibu today.  It was special and beautiful, a slice of the world that I had never seen before.  The West Coast is truly spectacular and on that note I will fly east next week.  I will travel to Massachusetts, Maine and New York.  I cannot wait.  I'm turning the pages in a frenzy, peeking at the next chapter and it looks delicious.

\